Transracial Care

For the last two months I have been training foster carers who are caring for children  of a different race to them.  An example would be a black child placed in a white family although it could be a white child placed in a black family.   The term used in my line of work is transracially placed; simply put this is a situation where there is a crossing of racial boundaries; where two or more races are involved in the family.

My starting point is that all children should be brought up in healthy functioning families that reflect them racially.  However the Uk State has made it clear that where a family can meet a child’s emotional and development, ethnic origin should not be a barrier.    This in my opinion shows a lack of insight by the government into the emotional development of children.  You can’t separate racial identity formation from the emotional development of a child, and from other aspects of their development for that matter. You only have to listen to the stories of children who have been brought up in transracial situations to know that things are not that simple.

Transracial Care

I understand that some children are born into transracial families; mixed race children, and where these families are healthy, these are the best families for these children.  I accept that we are going to have to place other children transracially, but I argue not without care and it being the only absolute option. It is easy for families to take a child in and happily expect the child just to fit in.   I ask families to think about how their family and social network reflects that child. Ie if they are caring for a black child, at a basic level do they have close, healthy, mutual relationships with black people?

racial and Cultural Attunement

Children develop their skills and capacity for expressing emotions by looking to the key adults in their lives for cues, models and affirmation for how to do this and as to whether they (the children) are getting it right. For instance the toddler falls and hurts himself and may cry only when the adult present indicates vocally or facially that the incident was painful and gives the toddler permission to cry. Another example is, child A hits his brother with a car, his brother cries and Child A looks at the adult present and laughs. Child A only gets the message, that his behaviour is unacceptable when he sees disapproval on the face of the adult.  This process  is referred to as attunement; the child is learning what is the standard for the feeling and expression of emotions as directed by the key adults in his life; when to cry, when not to, when to be happy, laugh etc.  Children also look for those cues, about how to feel, view and judge things pertaining to their race and culture.

Imagine living with a family that does not reflect you, a family that never acknowledges your black skin; its need for extra moisture, your need to hear it is beautiful even if it is different to your white family and friends.  A family that remains quiet when yet another news story reinforces a negative image of black person. A family who has failed to acknowledge your disappointment with your teacher for never picking you to answer a question she has asked in class when you eagerly put your hands up; discrimination. A family who asks you to ignore racist name calling. A family that only has friends that look like them but not you and so on.

However we must not assume that living in black families will automatically give black children a positive view of themselves.   This will depend on the behaviour of those adults.   For instance if the child never sees her mother caring lovingly for her (or the child’s) natural hair, and it is always tucked away under a weave; do not be surprised when the daughter decides early on that she wants a weave, or a son who makes his choice of partner, a women with the ‘desired object’ of his childhood; long sleek hair. The conversations black family members have about each other also shape black children sense of self. So if there is nothing good to say about the child’s father say very little. Men are to treat the child’s mother with respect and care.

For both the black and white family, caring for the black child means you have to have a healthy positive relationship with Blackness in order to pass this on to the child.   This relationship with blackness will vary for each family, but it is not something that can be ignored and then expect a child to develop healthily. People of different races need to work together to care for children, more so with those children living in families that are of a different race to them.  It is also important in this working together that the presumption is not made that the standard used to judge the care of the child is White, or for that matter Black.  There is a standard that transcends all races; that of Jesus Christ.